If I Could Talk to Customers The Way I Talk to My Kids

Now, we all have had poor customer service and its frustrating, but if you've ever worked in retail or the service industry you also know that you can come across equally poor customers. Sometimes you just wish there was an easier way to deal with those situations.

Being a mom I've found there's a lot of similarities between being a parent and working in customer service. So, a thought occurred to me, how much easier would my job be if I could treat customer's like my kids? Well below are several examples, just for kicks.


Customer: "Jill promised me a discount for my inconvenience!"

Me: "Sir, it's not polite to lie."

Customer: "I'm not lying!"

Me: "Sir, I know you are lying, because 'Jill' doesn't work here. I think you need a timeout for what you have done."

or

Customer: "But Jill said I could get a discount on my tile!"

Jill: "No I didn't!"

Me: "Alright, both of you go to separate corners and think about what you did. When you are ready to resolve this let me know. In the meantime I'm keeping your tile.

or

Customer: "You $%?!#@, you're &%$* and a #@%!."

Me: "Don't take that tone with me. When you're ready to talk to me use your words. Until then you can sit down over there and think about what you've done."

or

Me: "Sir you need to put that tool down before I send you to jail. I mean it! 1...2..."

or

Me: "When you are done throwing your fit I will be glad to help you."

or

Me: "I think someone needs a nap."

or

Customer: "I dropped this and it broke. I need you to replace it for free."

Me: "You need to take responsibility for your actions. That's coming out of your allowance."

or

Customer: "I just got this and want you to load it up into my truck."

Me: "Sir, you are aware that you are talking about a hundred pounds of sheet rock and I weight less than that myself? You need to do it yourself."

Customer: "I can't."

Me: "No, you're a big boy. You can do it yourself. Come on, I believe in you!"

or

Me: "Ma'am, did this get damaged?"

Customer: "NO! It came like that!"

Me: "Okay come on now, you can tell me the truth. I promise I won't punish you if you can be honest with me."

or

Customer: "Get me the manager!?"

Me: "Ma'am, you can ask nicely and let's try using our indoor voice."

or

Customer: "My order is a mess!"

Me: "Let me kiss it and make it better!"


This article contributed by Nichol L. Burkhart