The New Music Sin: Frankenstein Songs - 6 Offenders
When it comes to music I like all types, but I am what might be considered a purist. I believe music has a specific purpose and goal, which will change depending on the artist, but it must still have a goal and in essence, speaks something whether it is a story, a message, an emotion, an experience...something. That being said, have you ever gotten irritated with someone saying two different things? Well, the rest of the world is fine with that as is evidenced by the new trend of what I call, Frankenstein Songs.
In the world of music there are artists who kind of hash a great inspiration together with their own unique artistic ability they pull recklessly from a bag of musical elements. The result is an ability to utterly embarrass themselves and ruin a perfectly good song. It's like that song you are listening to on the radio and catch a few seconds of it going, "whoa, what song is this!? This rocks!" Then you stay for longer than 10 seconds and get to the refrain or the chorus or the bridge and all of sudden the song is like a pretty girl that turned around in a horror movie with the face of a monster. You scream and change the channel quickly only to spend 2 minutes filing through old 70's rock, Niki Manaj, Pitbull, or Katy Perry before giving up to debate silence over the same old songs on your phone or mp3 player.
In the world of music there are artists who kind of hash a great inspiration together with their own unique artistic ability they pull recklessly from a bag of musical elements. The result is an ability to utterly embarrass themselves and ruin a perfectly good song. It's like that song you are listening to on the radio and catch a few seconds of it going, "whoa, what song is this!? This rocks!" Then you stay for longer than 10 seconds and get to the refrain or the chorus or the bridge and all of sudden the song is like a pretty girl that turned around in a horror movie with the face of a monster. You scream and change the channel quickly only to spend 2 minutes filing through old 70's rock, Niki Manaj, Pitbull, or Katy Perry before giving up to debate silence over the same old songs on your phone or mp3 player.
I digress though. Honestly some of these songs are simply made with two songs that in their own right are good or might be good. In fact, those reading this will likely have an artist below they really like and I hope you are not offended. Music is highly personal and my opinions are of course my own and not to be taken as authoritative in any way. But understand that just like trying to eat lemons with chocolate or spaghetti with Chicken Curry, there are elements that just don't go together and the result is a zombie or Frankenstein song that chases innocent people around trying to eat their brains. Literally I felt the brain cells being eaten.
Thus, because I utterly detest a song that butchers great sounds with completely foreign or half baked elements I feel it is my solemn duty to make you aware so you can avoid those terrible moments. It's okay, you don't have to thank me. I will sacrifice myself so you don't have to.
David Guetta - Gettin Over You
There are certainly great songs out there that come up with a melody and beat that hits that sweet spot just right. It can even be elements that you have heard before but put together by this new artist it just makes perfect sense; like a BLT. Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato can each be good but in combination with a nice whole grain bread and real mayonnaise its like flavor explosion! David Guetta does that with the verse of Gettin Over You. It's excellent. His song stays constant while building energy that sustains and doesn't fall. The first part with Chris Willis and Fergie is done very well. It keeps the armed and aggressive energy there like In Da Club by 50 Cent and builds on it constantly without fail like Can't Hold Us by Macklemore. (I pick those because they're both modern songs the kids out there should know.) But just wait until you get to the chorus and let LMFAO take over and see what happens...
A crap sandwich that's what! LMFAO throws out this short swingy techno beat repeatedly with some lyrics that quickly decay into an incessant shouting of nothing but "and party and party party and party," over and over and over again like a broken record. Honestly It's the greatest sham addition to a song since Little John added his "whats" and "okays" and thought he made a valuable addition to hip hop. Honestly the only good thing that part of the song is for is jumping up and down like an idiot. I suppose if your in a club and actually find a superb move to bust during that awesome build up you might want to follow it up with nothing but hopping for 20 seconds of "party" in the background so it might well work for you. For me, it tanks the song, kills the energy, and doesn't fit at all. David, next time you go play leave LMFAO at home to ruin their own stuff.
Jason Aldean - Dirt Road Anthem
David Guetta Ft.Chris Willis, Fergie & LMFAO - Gettin Over You (Official Video)
A crap sandwich that's what! LMFAO throws out this short swingy techno beat repeatedly with some lyrics that quickly decay into an incessant shouting of nothing but "and party and party party and party," over and over and over again like a broken record. Honestly It's the greatest sham addition to a song since Little John added his "whats" and "okays" and thought he made a valuable addition to hip hop. Honestly the only good thing that part of the song is for is jumping up and down like an idiot. I suppose if your in a club and actually find a superb move to bust during that awesome build up you might want to follow it up with nothing but hopping for 20 seconds of "party" in the background so it might well work for you. For me, it tanks the song, kills the energy, and doesn't fit at all. David, next time you go play leave LMFAO at home to ruin their own stuff.
Jason Aldean - Dirt Road Anthem
If you are not a country fan you will not get this one...mainly because you will think the song stinks anyway. As soon as Jason says "Chillin on a dirt road..." your changing the channel faster than Lady Gaga changes her stage outfit. But if you hear this one out you will know why its here. Country is carried by two things, lyrics, and melody. Lyrics are the big deal in country, which is why you can have a terribly monotonous song that sounds the same as every other country song and it be a hit, because its about something different. Country is also driven by melody and that often means the music and lyric are constantly in harmony, lest something sound plum-country-terrible. Well here we have Dirt Road Anthem. By blending the final frontier of Country and Rap (or rather skatting or riffing) we have finally created the horrific monster we all feared would come out of the musical melting pot.
I suppose if you like harmonious lyrical riffs driven by melodies you could enjoy it, but seriously, rap and its cousins/predecessors are not driven by melody. Rap is driven by beat and rhythm. What you have is a typical melodious country song that suddenly and literally without any warning just jumps into rap that tries to make beats out of the melody line...what!?
It's just awkward and uncomfortable and does it without a little something us artists call "transition". Its like taking instructions from a trusted friend in a dark room and with no explanation in mid-sentence the voice changes to a complete stranger. Your mind needs a few seconds to catch up since what just happened is absurd and your not sure if you can do this anymore. All of a sudden the element has changed without asking you or caring if you were ready for it or not. The song just decided to jerk your mind into another dimension.
Music is all about feeling the musical signature, vibe, and voice of a song. This song literally tries to jerk one song out from under you without you seeing and put another one there. And just like ground unexpectedly changing under your feet will cause you to stumble, you lose sync and with it any amicable feelings toward this song. If you want to do country rap, fine, do it but do it where it belongs, in a different song far away from my poisoned ears.
Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
The musical elements of this song are good. They are catchy and have a nice tune. It really grabs you and gets you into the beat and the melody. But of course like most songs it can't just repeat the same riffs over and over again, it has to do something different and it does. It actually seems to start as one song, change to another and then with a quick drum transition you go into the still more unique chorus. The problem with this song is its really two songs together with a chorus that could very well be from a third. Unlike our previous artist this group actually transitions to the chorus well, but unfortunately the introduction and first part of the song is so foreign to the rest of it they literally have to stop the song and just start over. Some would find that creative, I find it a failure to finish the first song.
As a song writer myself I know it can be hard to mix elements adequately to match each other so I'm not going to fault him too harshly for this one. It's pretty mild in comparison to the others, and each separate element has a great sound. But the song flat-lines once to go into the real song and then kind of does it again with the chorus as they just jump into a completely different element. Next time spend a little more time finding a lick that goes better with the introduction and let the rest of the song stand on its own. As it is the first set is kind of wasted. If you have something to go with it you get to develop both of them fully. Trust me, it will turn out better. Once you've done the song, you can't undo it. It's ruined...for forever...I hope you're happy.
Black Eyed Peas - The Time
When I first heard this song I thought, "great, another hip-hop remake of something else." When I started listening to it though I was actually very intrigued by the new sound they put on the song from its original. It was modern, had more elements, and a new dimension to it. I loved it. Then they went into the added part.
If there was ever a Frankensteined song, this is it. It was like the Peas couldn't figure out what to put with their modern rendition of the song's emotional chorus that gave Dirty Dancing its edge so they just slapped some riff on it they had in the notebook and called it a day. Heaven forbid they actually try and do something with the awesome verse of the original.
Seriously, the best part of the original is the verse and the bridge for how well they set up the chorus. They build tension, power, energy, and confidence to finally let it all out in the chorus. So the Peas decided to take that wonderful rendition and nix the great stuff that set the chorus up for something out of their off melody techno vault that barely fit's anything much less this harmony driven anthem. The result is a weird smashing of two songs that in between offers some guy in a deep voice saying something about "radio smasher". Well that's what you get when hip hop gets ahold of classics I guess. This isn't the worst remakes list and even if it was this song probably wouldn't be on it due to the comedic gold the world has given us for that.
Iggy Azalea - Black Widow (Featuring Rita Ora)
Not only is the rap completely foreign to the chorus, they're not even the same genre. They're not even the same...thing. If you haven't clicked the link to hear the song yet try thinking of some classic rock artist like AC/DC or Bon Jovi or something and then all of a sudden the song drops and you have DMX suddenly bust out with one of his random numbers. Right, your going, "what the heck? I was listening to Bon Jovi!" That's kinda what happens here. If you caught the verse on the radio and then kept scanning and then later came back to catch only the chorus you'd never believe they were the same song, or even same artist...or same station. For that reason, despite the killer sound of the chorus this song chokes on the rap. It takes out the melody, changes the rhythm, loses the energy, loses the flow and honestly...just loses the point. Well done team Iggy and Rita, not many can do that on the fly. At least you did it together.
Feel This Moment - Pitbull Featuring Christina Aguilera
Aside from the fact that Pitbull pretty much sounds the same in every song he does with a partner (and he does that a lot) it stands to reason that he is going to bring his style and song to the composition and only his style and song. Which he does without remorse or mercy. This, of course, makes him one of the worst offenders of exactly what we are talking about in this article.
So here you have Christina Aguilera singing a melodic tune that she often does. In fact its so melodic you could have pulled it out of a church hymnal...and added all the drums and synth and all of course. But Pitbull gets in there and pretty much they have to reset the song and let him do his thing. In fact when he first comes in his first word is off-timed and he has to feel his way into it like the guy who's trying to freestyle and has to make up for coming in too early. Then when it's Christina's turn to sing again Pitbull's only way to cover the awkward transition is to shout a cover lyric like "WHOOO!" And I guess it works because the song was a hit. But it still doesn't change the fact that you are putting two different songs on the same track while keeping the beat similar enough to hold them together like the duct tape holding the bumper on your car.
To me a song has one voice and one intent. It tells one story and portrays one spirit. If you mix it with something else, well, that's just two songs. There's no point in putting them together unless you just want people to hear them together. But since its two separate songs anyway you might as well just do them separate so someone can actually appreciate and explore the entirety of each song individually. Oh well, its not like I've sold records or anything so I suppose I have little room to talk. However, my last point shall be that just because something sells does not mean its quality or a finished work. A Frankensteined song is just that; Frankensteined. Its a hodgepodge of things that should not be together. Now put that monster to rest before it destroys the village or something.
I suppose if you like harmonious lyrical riffs driven by melodies you could enjoy it, but seriously, rap and its cousins/predecessors are not driven by melody. Rap is driven by beat and rhythm. What you have is a typical melodious country song that suddenly and literally without any warning just jumps into rap that tries to make beats out of the melody line...what!?
It's just awkward and uncomfortable and does it without a little something us artists call "transition". Its like taking instructions from a trusted friend in a dark room and with no explanation in mid-sentence the voice changes to a complete stranger. Your mind needs a few seconds to catch up since what just happened is absurd and your not sure if you can do this anymore. All of a sudden the element has changed without asking you or caring if you were ready for it or not. The song just decided to jerk your mind into another dimension.
Music is all about feeling the musical signature, vibe, and voice of a song. This song literally tries to jerk one song out from under you without you seeing and put another one there. And just like ground unexpectedly changing under your feet will cause you to stumble, you lose sync and with it any amicable feelings toward this song. If you want to do country rap, fine, do it but do it where it belongs, in a different song far away from my poisoned ears.
Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
As a song writer myself I know it can be hard to mix elements adequately to match each other so I'm not going to fault him too harshly for this one. It's pretty mild in comparison to the others, and each separate element has a great sound. But the song flat-lines once to go into the real song and then kind of does it again with the chorus as they just jump into a completely different element. Next time spend a little more time finding a lick that goes better with the introduction and let the rest of the song stand on its own. As it is the first set is kind of wasted. If you have something to go with it you get to develop both of them fully. Trust me, it will turn out better. Once you've done the song, you can't undo it. It's ruined...for forever...I hope you're happy.
Black Eyed Peas - The Time
When I first heard this song I thought, "great, another hip-hop remake of something else." When I started listening to it though I was actually very intrigued by the new sound they put on the song from its original. It was modern, had more elements, and a new dimension to it. I loved it. Then they went into the added part.
If there was ever a Frankensteined song, this is it. It was like the Peas couldn't figure out what to put with their modern rendition of the song's emotional chorus that gave Dirty Dancing its edge so they just slapped some riff on it they had in the notebook and called it a day. Heaven forbid they actually try and do something with the awesome verse of the original.
Seriously, the best part of the original is the verse and the bridge for how well they set up the chorus. They build tension, power, energy, and confidence to finally let it all out in the chorus. So the Peas decided to take that wonderful rendition and nix the great stuff that set the chorus up for something out of their off melody techno vault that barely fit's anything much less this harmony driven anthem. The result is a weird smashing of two songs that in between offers some guy in a deep voice saying something about "radio smasher". Well that's what you get when hip hop gets ahold of classics I guess. This isn't the worst remakes list and even if it was this song probably wouldn't be on it due to the comedic gold the world has given us for that.
Iggy Azalea - Black Widow (Featuring Rita Ora)
Iggy Azalea - Black Widow (feat. Rita Ora) [Radio Edit]
Iggy is fairly new to the top 40 and it makes sense why...because her top songs embody Frankenstein antics, the same antics that are suddenly so popular. I chose this one because its probably her most well-known. Iggy is not a family friendly artist and most of her songs break out into explicit hard core rap and involve risque music videos but she's hardly alone in that,even on this list what with the Peas and Pitbull being on here. But that's hardly the point, the point is that the song includes a catchy and energetic chorus that has a lick that is so good it belongs in an action film...which is exactly what her Kill Bill imitation music video aims to do. But once you get through that awesome chorus you have to get back to rappin because it's an Iggy song and well...it sounds awkward.Not only is the rap completely foreign to the chorus, they're not even the same genre. They're not even the same...thing. If you haven't clicked the link to hear the song yet try thinking of some classic rock artist like AC/DC or Bon Jovi or something and then all of a sudden the song drops and you have DMX suddenly bust out with one of his random numbers. Right, your going, "what the heck? I was listening to Bon Jovi!" That's kinda what happens here. If you caught the verse on the radio and then kept scanning and then later came back to catch only the chorus you'd never believe they were the same song, or even same artist...or same station. For that reason, despite the killer sound of the chorus this song chokes on the rap. It takes out the melody, changes the rhythm, loses the energy, loses the flow and honestly...just loses the point. Well done team Iggy and Rita, not many can do that on the fly. At least you did it together.
Feel This Moment - Pitbull Featuring Christina Aguilera
Aside from the fact that Pitbull pretty much sounds the same in every song he does with a partner (and he does that a lot) it stands to reason that he is going to bring his style and song to the composition and only his style and song. Which he does without remorse or mercy. This, of course, makes him one of the worst offenders of exactly what we are talking about in this article.
So here you have Christina Aguilera singing a melodic tune that she often does. In fact its so melodic you could have pulled it out of a church hymnal...and added all the drums and synth and all of course. But Pitbull gets in there and pretty much they have to reset the song and let him do his thing. In fact when he first comes in his first word is off-timed and he has to feel his way into it like the guy who's trying to freestyle and has to make up for coming in too early. Then when it's Christina's turn to sing again Pitbull's only way to cover the awkward transition is to shout a cover lyric like "WHOOO!" And I guess it works because the song was a hit. But it still doesn't change the fact that you are putting two different songs on the same track while keeping the beat similar enough to hold them together like the duct tape holding the bumper on your car.
To me a song has one voice and one intent. It tells one story and portrays one spirit. If you mix it with something else, well, that's just two songs. There's no point in putting them together unless you just want people to hear them together. But since its two separate songs anyway you might as well just do them separate so someone can actually appreciate and explore the entirety of each song individually. Oh well, its not like I've sold records or anything so I suppose I have little room to talk. However, my last point shall be that just because something sells does not mean its quality or a finished work. A Frankensteined song is just that; Frankensteined. Its a hodgepodge of things that should not be together. Now put that monster to rest before it destroys the village or something.
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